Necessary New York

Many people think they know New York based on what they see in the movies and on TV. I am here to tell you that like a celebrity, you don’t actually know New York until you’ve felt her heartbeat, and gotten past the hustle, the trash, and the noise. I have yet to experience any place like it. People say it’s like no place on Earth and many people don’t understand how true that rings. On the surface, many people assume it’s dirty and too busy to enjoy. This is my story about how I fell in love almost as a significant other.

Growing up between Colorado and California, California always felt more like home to me because I love to be by a lot of water rather than in more desert-climate and areas. I had a chance to audition for an acting school and I had the choice to go back to LA or go to New York. I had moved back to Colorado from California two years before my audition. I knew I wanted to do something different. I needed to challenge myself. I had only been to Pennsylvania before that. I told them I wanted to go to New York for this reason.

I took a red-eye from DEN to LGA and got there as the sun was rising. Of course I couldn’t sleep leading up to leaving, and I couldn’t sleep on the plane. Landing in New York first thing in the morning was an experience I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for. The early sun over the city was beautiful. Right away New York welcomed me. I was still in my early twenties. I was expecting a very harsh culture shock which never came. The driver to my new residence was very nice. From then on, I would call the New Yorker Hotel home until Fall (this was early Summer). The school had a floor of “dorms” that it shared with other schools in the city. It was a true melting pot on our floor. Every day as you would get off of the elevator onto your floor, it smelled of curry, Italian, and so much more. If you’re wondering what that smells like right now, I can tell you it is a terrible smell. It was home though.

We had students as our contacts who had been there longer. We met with them the first day. They gave us pro-tips for surviving the city. Rule number one was “No Dumb Shit!” I could elaborate but it’s pretty much self-explanatory. They told us not to stop in Time’s Square in everyone’s way to get pictures. They told us not to waste any taxi driver’s time. Tell them straightforward where you are going so they can’t rip you off either. I had pretty much studied every map I could get my hands on before leaving Colorado. I did not want to be lost. Even knowing the maps, it wasn’t until I started walking the streets until I really knew where I was going. The city almost guides you if you let it. Those streets felt like they were in my blood somehow.

The first night being there, we went to the Empire State Building at night. Standing up there looking over the city, and looking over where relatives have entered the United States in search of freedom and promise of a better tomorrow, as the breeze comes over you brings you a sense of peace, and is also so humbling at the same time. I don’t even know if there is a word to describe the feeling but I have looked for one.

Although my diet while I lived there pretty much consisted of amazing pizza, greasy diner food, burgers, cupcakes, and ice cream, I was still in the best shape I had been in since high school - and I still haven’t been in shape like that since. I walked everywhere. I took everything in. I wanted to memorize every building. This is not to say I didn’t take cabs, the subway, or the bus. I just loved walking. I loved walking in front of the department stores as the doors would open and you would get a gust of air conditioning sweep over you and they always had a good smell that came out in the gusts. Even with not liking being in crowds, I just sort of fit in and felt a part of something bigger.

I love that if the city is having a bad day, you have a bad day. If the city is having a good day, you have a good day. I have never experienced a city’s feelings before New York. I still haven’t. It was the first place I truly felt at home. It was the kind of place to “sow your oats” or just capture your youth before turning the page to adulthood. I know that I was very lucky to not have a bad experience there either. From friendly drivers, being pulled to the front of the line at nightclubs, meeting fun people to spend the summer with, excellent food (with an exception here or there), good drinks, and never getting bored, and of course- getting to act, I am thankful for what was. Even though “Girls’ Night Out” usually ended with someone missing a purse, someone else crying, bad food, and a longer walk home in heels, it still made for great experiences. One night some girlfriends and I were on a mission to find a nightclub that said they had a live mermaid in swimming around in a tank. We knew we had to go but we walked around for hours in dark alleys and up and down streets trying to find this club that was likely already closed due to the short life of some clubs in New York. Not once did I really feel in danger though. That night we joked about how this would be something none of us would tell our families about because it would not be received well. I love that you can get pulled in to do a commercial at Bethesda Fountain that will only air in Australia and you will make some stupid comment about how good the water is that you have to try. I love that you can feel the seasons click over. Like, really feel the seasons click. One day you wake up and you know summer has turned to autumn and you just know. I even love that when something explodes and everyone around you gets scared, you all subtly check in with each other to make sure everyone else is okay before resuming your route- even if you are still experiencing a spike in adrenaline from an explosion sound.

That is truly what I love about New York. I have met and gotten to know people there that have opened my eyes to the rest of the world. Let me in a little bit on their cultures. I haven’t done everything there is to do in New York and no one ever will- probably. I have gotten very unique experiences though. It’s the kind of city that can build your confidence and make you feel unexpected ways about yourself, and it can also knock you down but if it knocks you down, it will build you back up again if you let it.

As I am approaching a possible visit back to New York, I am reflecting a lot and wondering if it will be the same for me now that I am an official adult and married. I am not really the same person I was but will I still know the city like I did before? Will I still feel the heartbeat as I walk her streets? Will I still be able to see the beauty through the seemingly dirty cover that turns so many people off? I think so. I expect to touch down and enter the city as a friend I have not seen in a long time but I still love because that friend carried me into adulthood and helped me grow into a person I like to be.

Packing List: Clothing appropriate for the weather, good walking shoes, study maps ahead of time so you aren’t lost and holding up foot traffic, cameras and accessories, Nothing very flashy if you plan on walking, a healthy appetite, plenty of spending money

Do: Visit the Empire State at sunset or after dark, Check pizza places ahead of time - they might all taste good but some need to keep their places a little cleaner, Try a street hot dog, Find a rooftop bar, Get tickets at discount if you’re going to a show, Venture out to Ellis Island by ferry, Plan on eating out- a lot, Wander around Central Park, Learn the subway routes ahead of time, Avoid Time’s Square as much as possible, Know where you are going when taking a cab, Try to know what you are ordering at sandwich places because they have to move quickly and don’t have a lot of patience for people taking a long time to order, Remember tourists are usually the rude ones, Remember to always tip, Try to always stay on the main roads and avoid alleys

Don’t: Take abruptness personally -it’s a fast moving city and everyone just wants to get their stuff done, Stop to take pictures in the flow of traffic (seems like it should be a given but surprisingly is not), Look like a tourist- especially when getting in a cab so that you’re not taking advantage of, Also, Don’t look like a tourist on the streets where you can be opening yourself up to get robbed, pick pocketed, or purse-snatched, Walk Central Park at night, Be afraid of New York despite everyone saying it’s not safe, Take a horse carriage in New York

The View From our Entrance/Exit of Our Dorms (Taken with my camera phone back then)

Oops! Taxi Accident

Our Dorm Hotel aligned with the Empire State Building

My School

RIP John Lennon

Same As Above

We will never forget the lives lost